[ I'm not going home without you(s) ]

I have free times in hand, because I woke too darn early and I don't feel like touching my notes. I probably will just stay over at macs again today to revise. They just renovated serangoon macs, gotta visit 5Th house.

We all need somebody, don't we? Life isn't meant for an individual. So here are the short list of people I love, I treasure & I'm grateful I'm living for;

My family, niggas
Hey ma', I love you straight from the bottom of my heart. We might have unexplainable conflicts in the past that went on for years, but we're good now, aren't we? As tight as the stamp on envelope. For all the things you'd done for me for the past 17 years, for the unconditional love, for being an untiringly the best ma' one could ever get, thank you. I promise I'll do what it takes to make you happy, even if it kills me, I'd travel to the end of the world for you.

Yo bro', I'm glad we are where I want us to be right now. You used to be the one asshole, that took pleasure in scolding me and making my life 100x way more difficult, that I had to live with. You still are an ass now, but I love you like no girl could love you, like no words can explain and no sun can shine. We might be thousand kms away from each other, but God knows how I pray everyday that you'll have a nice day & be happy back there. You know you can grow old with me and counts on me no matter what and how.

Hello kim yu kyeong, I feel like I owe you my goddamned life. It's been almost three years, now, and I love you the same like how I loved you since day one, &no matter how vague this statement is, I promised it's ceaseless. You're there in times of good, and bad; untiringly be the one best friend I could always rely on for emotional or physical support. I hope I been a good sister to you, just like how you been to me. If you don't know where who how to go to, come to me sweetlove, because I'll always be here for you for I love you from the deepest pit of my heart, & that's a lifetime promise.

Yowza Dionne Rochelle Alviedo, yowza sister. I feel I'm ultimately blessed that I have you in my life. You, this one person who talks most reasonable sense, & the one person I can trust to light up my days. We sure had come far, been through lots of laughter and shits. & all that, we faced them together; you and me, as one man. You've guided me to the spot where I'm standing now, I wouldn't be me if it wasn't for you. I pray that I can witness the later chapters in your life, & we'll always be thistight. Mostly, no matter how rowdy you could be, I love you like no one could do, love.

Sup Dil, the crazy ass. hahaha. Thank you for putting laughters in my life, and entertaining with all your rants about the one guy that you're head over heels with, now. I hope we'll stay together close. (:

Hello Joanne Ang, hello bestfriend. I've yet to apologise for taking you for granted all this while. I know I'd not been there at all for you for the past two years and counting, and I want you to know that; it hurts me to know that I'm standing on this spot without you by side. No, we're in the same school, I promise you I'll put most efforts to see you more often. Blame it on me, I been a bad bestfriend, and I know it. But, I hope you know that I love you, still. I love you the same like how you knew I did two years back. I told you you're always at heart.

Woi kong, hahaha. Hello there brother. It's been 5 freaking years, man. You've been watching me grow, and always keep me in track. You listen to my stories, tell me what to do, tell me what's right and what's not. My God, now I'm on it, I realised how you were there for me. I hope I been a good friend to you, because you've been a good brother. Mushy as it can be, I love you, & I hope you'll stay in singapore for at least the next few years left of my education trip here. Invite me when you're marrying jes. hahaha.

Howdy Anisah binte Hassan, howdy sayang. I know we've only been friends for lest than half a year, but I feel like you're already playing a crucial role in my life. I'm so sorry that I have the tendency to disappoint you, and I promise I will not ever ever ever make you sad again. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you for the world. & Thank you, thank you for always being there for me, always knowing when I'm bothered & made me feel a world better just by talking to you. I hope I can be there for you, both in times of good and bad. I know this sounds so cliche, but I typed this with my whole heart and soul on my finger tips; I love you, sister.

Hello Low Yi Ling darling. I can't measure how much I love you, but it sure hurts me to see you sad. Almost like I'm sad when you're sad, & I'm glad when you're glad kind of love. Thank you for being there, too. For all the emotional supports , and how you always take my shits and laugh it out with me. Poly life wouldn't be so much of a blast if you're not by my side. Thank you, & you know you can always count on me. (:

Hello meme cinta. The bimbotic friend of mine who never failed to cheer me up when I'm sad and make me laugh.Thank you for being there for me, accompany me when I'm in need of companion, physically and emotionally. It's been a while since the last time we met. But I love you, and been missing you every day. But it's okay! I'll meet you later, yes? I love you very much& I thank God, we're reconnected.(:

Khidhir too, for always be there to listen to all stupid stories on the way home, and you can rely on me, hey you mat rep. I hope we'll still go home together for the next 2.5 years.(:

& any other people who constantly show up when I need them. My secondary school friends, my primary school friends, and any other random friends.

I took me two hours to cplete this, because I had to stop in times when my heart squeezes. Now, I'm going to prepare for school.

[ How far would you go to get what you want, no matter how silly? ]

Why, Good morning sweetworld.

Work for the past two days been very slack, boring, yet fun. Mr. young singer was too busy to serenade his life for me, so a wild guess on how mundane my weekend turned could do you good. However so, my colleagues been very sweet and helpful, like always. Except for shawn who kept on nagging at me on how dead the restaurant is, or how noisy my mp3's, but to heck with that. Working with ahkong has been a top-notch, smile.

Life's been excellent, too, thank you. I no longer cared for the unreplied smses - well, for the past two days that is - because everyone thinks that I am super duper silly. But hey, sometimes you just can't help but to succumb to your own want, no? It's been zillian years since the last time I saw adilah. You reading this, unlikely, but hey, I miss you doodlehead. Went to macs to study with dionne after work last night, went off at four because I really couldn't take anymore of ECT&P. I'll do a picture post, like soon.

Ohmygodzilla, I'm like freaking putting on weight right now, even my ever-so annoying security guard said so. This is bad bad bad. Okay, discipline!Next time I want to be greedy and eat every possible choice at one go, I shall ask someone to knock my head. & my fucking stupid phone bill is like woah, I sent like 957 messages to other operator & I swore to God my calls bill is so crazy. Okay, discipline! shall put these on in my journal, and emphasize.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY ?

So, I left ECT&P lesson early today because I seriously had no mood to do anything at that very point of time. Parted ways with two love love darlings, & walked fast to MRT just to mitigate the probabilty of bumping to mr asshole. I decided to go to serangoon macs to read my ECT&P notes but I was not drooling for anything, not even mcspicy. Just my luck, opposite of it was this small bakery shop that sells waffles (YUMMY!) so I bought chocolate waffle with such a happy happy feeling & sat down at one corner to read my notes with my iced latte. I could have sworn this guy who was sitting on the next table of mine was stealing glances of me at any possible seconds. & there I was, thinking that " well look there, asshole, I'm hotter than you are ".
BUT ...
what it is actually was...

The fact that my mouth was full of chocolate, & I didn't even notice it until few minutes ago when I was editing my pictures. No wonder everyone was looking on the way home. OMG, hahaha. && I saw my ex there with a girl, and well, you couldn't help but to stare can't you? IRONICALLY, they noticed I was staring, and right now, he's talking to me on msn telling me this. hahaha. ahhh well.

I wasn't okay, I was dejected. I even smsed khidhir to ask him why the hell he did not reply me, but me-time is always so so sooo good. I'm okay now, very much am, yes. Thanks to Neyo-go on girl. ( khidhir replied me; maner aku tau giler )

[ .... 'cause I'm mr. brightside ]

I love how the story of my life would always go; gain some, lose some. Just when I thought I'll be damned & am ten feet under the ground, things surfaced and pulled me out from my misery. Hey, screw you. You're replaceable.

Finally sunday is almost over. Ironic isn't it ? Sigh, oh well. What could I say to how fast time could go?

If you can't apologize for being wrong, then it's just the shame on you. Why should I care, really ? If you think I am lacking .. then you don't know me well, my dear. It's always so good to have your bestfriends telling you what to do about something and knock some sense to the airhead. For that, thank you. & for this, G'bye. Like really do, the truth of all the truth and nothing but the truth; Good bye. Im shagged.

On a lighter note, I have to start studying already ( which makes it nothing of a lighter topic) because MST is just like, three weeks away. Shit y'know, when one day it feels like you're so new to the school, you feel that you should be forgiven for screwing so many modules, and how at the later of the day, your lecturer would just keep on teaching about things you know no shit about slapping you on the face with the fact that; you're that slow. So so, I'm not going to work during weekdays, just weekends, because those are the days when mr singer is working ( ah, he's so cute).

This week's resolution ( because I prefer to list out, than sentences ) ;

• spend less, eat shits less
• tuesday; outing with classmates
• wednesday; squash plus date with Mr. Gap
• thursday; chinese class plus, wait for dir.
• friday; study in library till work starts
• saturday; study at home till work starts
• sunday; CHURCH
• sleep late; study!

eh lots of things leh, I like. hahaha. Plus, I bet I'll do these stuffs with anisah & yiling by side, or mp3 ( turban ) earphones hooked on ears, or psp ( kimmy ) on hand, or with other people that would occupy my head and time, right. G'night now, everybody.

G'dawn yoll, I'm up but off to a short nap before it's time for me to start preparing for school.

It's been a year now, but I still couldn't adjust to the fact that I am responsible for another life. My freaking cow, I still find each and every little thing done irritating. Selfishness gets the better of me, most of the times. I'm taught to live like this, It's what asked of me; independent, matured, selfish. It used to be easier- not way-easy easier, but was more easy - when my brother was around. There's someone to depend on to make sure the bills are paid on time, important calls are done and to make sure there's enough money by the end of the month. But now, bloody hell, now I'm supposed to do that. Not like it would take as much efforts as doing the laundries, or washing dishes or the like, but it's more of a grown-up thing, y'know. Rawr, you don't know. I don't want to grow up. What scares me the most is my own trepidation. I fear what I'll become. & If I have to grow up, physically and emotionally, I don't want to grow old to become something of an individual. I want to depend on somebody to trust with my whole life, so when everything fails, I know that one very person wouldn't turn her/his back on me. But from the view I'm looking right now, we're so far apart from each other, I wonder what's left of us.

Whatever though yo'. I hope things get better and better. Meanwhile, I'll just drown myself in activities that don't even matter much. For instance; work, squash, chinese class and whatever that comes along the way. But, responsibility, yes. I'll list out.

Good day, now.

I'm glad I went to squash practise despite the usual dillemma I had to face almost every wednesday. Sure, I suck in squash, If there's to be a title for the worst player, I'm 100% sure I'll get a crown on my head. But, the sense of going squash is commitment to spare two or three hours of my wednesday to do the thing that's useful. And, I'm glad I did go just now. Because if I did not, I know I'm going to feel suckish afterwards.



School is so dang fine. Though lecturers are probably the one group of people I could never stop disliking, my two damned darlings are so fine. How Anisah would take care of me and be patient to every single silly things I did and how she can give the most comforting hug, & how yiling would take all the craps I could possibly do ( i.e. fishing, shooting ) and the way she never shake me off when I lean on her shoulder. They shape me to be a better person yaw. And for that, thank you (:

Shat, I'm behind time for almost everything now. Shawn just scolded me for behaving like a child by not picking up his calls. I mean, hello, after all I still am, riight? But no no no, I'm in poly already, man. Gotta grow up and start picking up calls from unknown numbers and bearing all the consequences of everything. Trust me, man, I'm that strong (:




I'm like rushing things, right now. I have to get chapter ten and eleven of law done and over with before the sun rises. It feels like there are lots of things to be done, but I have no bloody idea of what when where and how. My house is like super messy, now, I spent an hour finding my law cases' notes and gave up because I always feel like crying whene'er I couldn't find things. Like a habit brought up from childhood; some things you just can't let go, man.




Anyway anyway, I'm going to work tomorrow and friday's night; Squash on wednesday; Chinese on thursday; Saturday and sunday would be the clearing out days. Can't keep on living like this, man. Sigh. Anyway, life's too short to be spent maudlin over a guy who may or may not want to be your friend. Sucks the fact that he's super hot. hahaha. Oh well. Bye now.

[ Crazy little thing called life ]


It's amazing how one time someone is a complete stranger to you, but another you're head over heels for him. And all it takes is to let things take its' course while the world spins and spins. You're so great, I don't even know where to start describing from.